Women with ED histories can achieve healthy pregnancies.

A recent national survey found that one in ten women are delaying motherhood because of disordered eating or eating disorders.

That’s a significant number, but here’s the good news: Once women are in recovery from their eating disorder, the great majority are able to have successful pregnancies.

With this article, we’ll discuss some of the potential roadblocks to getting pregnant, and ways to overcome them.

The big takeaway? With proper planning, a good treatment team, and a commitment to a solid recovery, the chances are very good your journey to motherhood will go just fine.

First things first: A self-assessment

It’s important to assess all areas of your life before deciding to try for a child, and where things stand with your ED is certainly one of them.

If you’re in an active phase of your ED, that isn’t a good time to try and get pregnant. EDs can wreak havoc with your body by way of high blood pressure, heart and gastrointestinal issues, neurological and hormonal problems, and so on.

Those conditions are going to complicate your pregnancy plans, so it’s best to wait until you’re feeling stable in recovery. Bottom line is you need to be medically and psychologically ready.

Once you’ve decided to delay, what then? A great first move—if you haven’t already done it—is to get in touch with your physician and others on your treatment team. Let them know about your desire to have a baby, and enlist their help on how to get there.

If their recommendation is to get into residential treatment for your ED, be open to that possibility. It may be exactly what’s needed. Whatever it takes for you to achieve a lasting recovery, now is the time to make those changes.

Important note: When it’s time to find an OB/GYN to help you with the pregnancy and birthing process, look for an ED-informed practitioner.

Overcoming ED-related barriers to pregnancy

Bringing another person into the world is a big deal, and it can be scary for anyone. So if you’re anxious about it, you have plenty of company! Here are some of the roadblocks to watch out for—and hopefully overcome:

Feelings of unworthiness: For people who have struggled with an ED, the idea of motherhood can be especially intimidating. Women with EDs sometimes have a hard time handling responsibility. Or they feel like they’re not worthy, or capable. Long into recovery, many still think … Me? A parent?

Yes, you, a parent. You’re just as able and worthy as anyone else. For people with those doubts, talking to a therapist as well as trusted friends and loved ones can be extremely helpful.

Fear of what’s coming: Plenty of mothers-to-be worry about the changes that pregnancy will bring. Hormonal shifts, mood changes, changes in appetite, body shape changes—all these things are normal, and yes they’re likely going to happen. It’s important to accept that, and try to be okay with it.

For women with ED histories, these changes can make them feel like they’re not in control of their bodies. For many women that can be especially scary, because some use their EDs as a way to assert control over their bodies.

Others fear the sensory exposures that come with pregnancy. Will I feel nausea? Discomfort? Pain? Most likely, yes, at least a little bit. Again, it’s important to realize, and accept, that these things are normal.

Two keys for managing your fear of what pregnancy will bring are to: (1) get educated on the changes that may happen, and (2) have a plan for how to react when they do. That way you’ll be ready, and things will hopefully feel more predictable.

Anxiety about what other people will say or do: Yes, it’s going to happen. People who know you, and people who don’t know you, are going to think it’s fine to give regular and definitive assessments on your pregnancy.

About 99 percent of the time, these are well meaning, but they can still throw you for a loop, so it’s important to be ready for them, and stay calm and positive. Examples:

• “Oh my goodness, you’re so thin.”
• “You’re carrying so low, it’s definitely going to be a boy/girl.”
• “Don’t worry, once you start breastfeeding, all the weight comes off.”
• And the myriads of ads geared towards expecting mothers can be triggering too!

The best advice is to keep a sense of humor about it. You might also work up a list of replies and responses to these comments. That way you’ll feel more prepared when you hear them.

Same goes for the unwanted touching of a mom’s belly—be ready for that, too. Again, have a response ready that allows you to calmly and confidently let others know your boundaries.

Advice for loved ones and friends

It’s probably clear by now that there are unique challenges for people with ED histories, and that goes for the people close to them as well. Here are a few suggestions that may help those in a supporting role:

• Try not to put any extra pressure on your loved one who is pregnant or considering it.
• Be gentle and encouraging in your support.
• Steer clear of comments around her body or food intake.
• Ask how you can help, especially during those inevitable times when she is scared or negative about herself or her body. Ask what she needs from you.

Final thoughts on EDs and motherhood

If being a mother is important to you, it is entirely possible to have a child if you are in solid recovery from an eating disorder.

For women who are still struggling with their ED, and who want to get pregnant, simply see the goal of motherhood as another important reason to find long-term recovery. Recovery is worth it for that reason, and many others.

At the end of the day, EDs don’t get to take motherhood away from us. Stay strong in that thought.